Monday, May 19, 2014

Update to the Update: It's Impossible to Kill Ants

Apparently, ants like to play mind games.  

About four days ago, I thought that I had killed some ants with a combination of Borax and sugar, because there wasn't an ant at all on the test anthill I treated. On a different anthill about 100 feet away, the ants were as busy as ants (ants put bees to shame in the business of being busy).

Aha! I thought to myself, I've found a way to control all those ants in that pasture over there.  Eager to share my new found knowledge with the world, but not too eager it appears because it took me two days to slowly make it to the computer, I pounded out a post about how easy it was to kill ants with Borax and sugar.  

I was preparing to buy a truckload of Borax and sugar to go to battle with all the ants in my domain, and then this morning I walked out and saw that the ants were right back to their usual antics in the treated anthill.  

So my conclusion is that either ants get a case of the sniffles and stay in bed for a few days after being bombarded with Borax and sugar, or they like to mess with the heads of whoever (or is that whomever??) thinks they can control them with Borax and sugar and they run and hide whenever whoever tries to control them comes by for a look.

I'm beginning to think that ants don't like to be controlled and they like to play mind games.


  1. Those ants are awfully hard to kill... they'll probably mutate and your next post will be something like this:

    (full video:

    1. At first thought, I was going to start working on a mutant ant-eater to deal with any mutant ants, but that's just ridiculous and impractical.

      Then, it occurred to me that since I already have the normal, boring, unmutated, ant-gobbling horned lizards running around, it would be simpler and more practical to start working on developing a mutant horned lizard (more commonly called a mutant horny toad).

      Simple and practical is the best way to deal with mutant ants.

      The next problem would be dealing with all the mutant horny toads running around, but controlling giant mutant horny toads should be a piece of cake compared to controlling mutant ants since from what I've heard horny toads don't play mind games.

  2. You have to love those old movies... especially the soundtrack!

    I don't seem to have an ant infestation in my new digs. The ants that I've seen, seem to stay well enough back from the house to suit me and we have a peace accord of sorts. But if you ever figure out how to kill ants with your experiments, I am interested. I figure I will set a jug or carton or container of whatever you find in the window just to let the ants know I have a 'nuclear' option should they choose to break the peace accord.

    1. I'm beginning to think it takes a witch's brew of Borax, sugar, and some ant killer applied to the ant hill every two weeks or so. Then, you need a mutant ant-eater AND a mutant horny toad on constant watch to take care of any ants that don't get the message with the witch's brew, plus you need to till the snot out of the anthills every month or so.

      I'm still trying to figure out what I'm going to feed my mutant ant-eater and mutant horny toad when the ant population starts to go down, there's nothing meaner than a hungry mutant ant-eater or a hungry mutant horny toad.

    2. "...I don't seem to have an ant infestation in my new digs..."

      You do realize that you just jinxed yourself, don't you?

      The ants should start popping up all over your yard any day now, and soon you'll be willing to pay any price for one of my not-yet-developed mutant horny toads (patent pending).

  3. I'll be calling in my pre-order if I did jinx myself. That or I will just shell out $50 and live with the chemicals pumped into the anthills until something better comes along.